Day 7: Choose Where Your Energy Goes

August 8th.

Lionsgate.

Day 7.

And apparently the theme of the day was going to be choice.

I got up and started with my water, because at this point I have accepted that this is the only way the gallon is getting done without becoming a whole nighttime ordeal.

I can't casually sip my way through it.

That does not work for me.

What works is drinking it early and drinking it on purpose.

First 30 ounces around 5:00 a.m.

Another around 8:30.

Another around 11:00.

Get as much of it handled as early as possible so I'm not spending the entire afternoon thinking:

Drink your water.

You still need more water.

How much water have you had?

Then suddenly it's nine o'clock and I'm trying to drown myself before bed.

No thank you.

The scheduled bottles are staying.

Two of Cups Reversed

My devotional card today was the Two of Cups reversed.

The message I took from it was about being intentional with where I place my energy.

Choose where your energy goes wisely.

Which was almost annoyingly appropriate considering how this week has gone.

I've spent days trying to get these video podcast episodes out.

Recording.

Re-recording.

Changing the script.

Trying to upload.

Having something else go wrong.

Trying again.

And every time I hit another problem, I have a decision to make about how much more energy I'm going to give that particular problem.

Today would eventually force that decision.

But first...

I walked.

At least the morning walk has become one of the simpler parts of this whole thing.

Get dressed.

Go outside.

Walk.

Done.

Apparently Two Lattes Are Not Breakfast

Breakfast, however...

Didn't exactly happen.

Instead, I had two lattes.

Was that my finest nutritional decision?

Probably not.

Coffee is not breakfast just because there's milk in it.

I know.

But that's what happened.

By then I was already thinking about the podcast and everything I needed to accomplish.

And on top of everything else, it was supposed to be around 103 degrees.

My little studio gets ridiculously hot.

Trying to record in there while it's over 100 degrees outside is an experience.

A sweaty one.

Back Into Podcast Hell

Then I went right back into working on the podcast.

Again.

And once again...

Trouble.

Trouble.

Trouble.

I had two episodes already behind, and now today was August 8th.

The Lionsgate Portal.

Which meant there was another episode that actually needed to go out today.

Not tomorrow.

Not when I finally figured out the video.

Today.

And for a while, I was still trying to make all of it happen.

Fix the video.

Catch up on the late episodes.

Get Lionsgate done.

Make everything work.

Meanwhile, it's 103 degrees.

I'm sitting in this hot little studio.

And I'm getting more irritated by the minute.

Lunch ended up being a bowl of Cheerios.

That was about all I wanted.

It was hot.

I was busy.

I wasn't particularly hungry.

And I had way too much on my mind.

Something Had to Stop

Eventually I looked at the clock.

I had about two hours left before my cutoff to get the Lionsgate episode released on August 8th.

And I finally had to make a decision.

Forget the video.

Forget the episodes that were already late.

They were already late.

Spending another two hours trying to save them wasn't going to change that.

What actually mattered right now was the Lionsgate episode.

So I stopped.

I quit trying to solve everything at once.

I recorded Lionsgate as audio.

Uploaded it.

And got the episode out.

Was it the video version I'd been envisioning?

No.

Did the episode get released on Lionsgate?

Yes.

And for the first time in days, something actually crossed the finish line.

That Two of Cups reversed came right back to me.

Choose where you put your energy wisely.

I'd been dividing mine between too many problems.

Once I decided what actually mattered most in that moment, the decision became pretty obvious.

The Audacity to Expect More

The Lionsgate episode itself was about manifestation.

But not sitting around wishing something would magically happen.

The ritual I shared was about embodiment.

You start by writing down seven qualities you already embody.

Not things you're hoping to become.

Things that are already part of you.

For each one, you acknowledge how you're already living it.

Then comes number eight.

The quality you're calling in.

You write down what that quality is, how you're going to embody it, and what you're willing to release to make space for it.

Mine was easy.

Visibility.

I want to be more visible.

And apparently I have chosen the most technologically irritating possible way to prove that I mean it.

Because getting these videos out has been kicking my ass all week.

But I'm still doing it.

I'm still figuring it out.

I'm still going back into that studio.

I'm still learning.

Visibility isn't going to happen because I write the word on a piece of paper.

It's going to happen because I keep doing visible things.

Even when they're uncomfortable.

Even when I'm learning publicly.

Even when the first version doesn't work.

Which made today kind of perfect.

I had to stop obsessing over the perfect visible version long enough to actually release something.

Dinner Was Much Better Than Lunch

Thankfully, dinner had a little more substance than Cheerios.

We made turkey kofta bowls.

Basically seasoned turkey meatballs with all the good bowl stuff around them.

They were actually really good.

After spending most of the day barely wanting food because of the heat, a real dinner was definitely necessary.

And then...

The lake.

RIP to My Little Kayak

We decided to go kayaking for my evening workout.

And I was so happy to get back out there.

I climbed into my little inflatable kayak—the one I've had for about two years and absolutely love—and started paddling.

Then I heard it.

Hissssssssss.

No.

No, no, no.

My kayak had a hole.

I am genuinely upset about this.

That little thing has been everywhere with me for two summers.

And yes, I know it's an inflatable kayak.

I know inflatable things eventually get holes.

I still don't have to like it.

Thankfully, it wasn't some dramatic movie scene where I immediately sank into the lake.

I was actually able to stay out for the entire 45 minutes.

The kayak itself never came close to completely deflating.

My seat, however?

Flat.

Completely done.

By the time I came back in, I was basically sitting on the floor of the kayak.

So until I figure out whether I can repair it...

Kayaking is temporarily on hold.

And I am not pleased.

At all.

I've been building kayaking into my workouts, my seasonal calendar, my evenings, my whole little summer-camp life.

Now my kayak has betrayed me.

Rude.

Day 7

Today was not nutritionally perfect.

Two lattes for breakfast.

Cheerios for lunch.

But dinner was solid.

I got my water done.

I got my reading done.

I got my workouts done.

And most importantly, I finally stopped trying to fix every podcast problem at the same time.

I chose the thing that actually mattered today.

And I got it out.

That's what I'm taking from the Two of Cups reversed.

Sometimes protecting your energy isn't about doing less because you don't care.

It's doing less because you care enough to know what deserves your attention first.

And it was kind of perfect that this happened on Lionsgate.

Because my eighth word is visibility.

Today visibility didn't look like the perfect video podcast I'd envisioned.

It looked like making a call.

Dropping what wasn't working.

Publishing the audio.

Getting the message out.

Then going kayaking in a slowly deflating boat.

Apparently manifestation has a sense of humor.

Today's Lesson

Choosing where your energy goes means accepting that everything cannot be the priority at the same time.

Sometimes you have to stop trying to save what is already late so you can show up for what matters now.

And if I really want more visibility...

I have to keep choosing visibility.

Even when it doesn't look exactly the way I planned.