75 Hard Restart Day 1: Starting Again

Attempt Number Three.

Well.

Apparently I disappeared.

Not from the challenge.

Just from the blog.

I fell off writing around June 2nd.

The workouts kept happening.

The diet mostly stayed on track.

Life kept moving.

The blog did not.

And then on Tuesday the 9th, I failed.

Not because of food.

Not because of a workout.

Not because I decided I didn't want to continue.

I failed because I missed my water.

And according to the rules, a miss is a miss.

A lot of people told me to just keep going.

Nobody would know.

Just pick up where I left off.

But I would know.

So I counted it.

And since we were about to leave on a long road trip anyway, with a full day of driving on the 11th and travel plans stretching through the 15th, I made a decision.

Instead of stressing about restarting in the middle of travel, graduation events, hotels, restaurants, and long days in the car, I decided to take a break and restart properly on Monday the 15th.

During that break, I still mostly followed my nutrition plan.

I still moved my body every day.

But I only did one workout.

I stopped worrying about the gallon of water.

I stopped worrying about the reading.

And I gave myself permission to enjoy the trip.

My Weakness: Sugary Drinks

If you've been following along, you've probably already figured out one thing about me.

My downfall isn't pizza.

It's not chips.

It's not desserts.

It's sugary drinks.

During the break there were a few treats.

An ube macchiato from Starbucks.

And let me tell you...

That thing was delicious.

Delicious.

Delicious.

There was also a pistachio latte.

A coconut macchiato.

A Thai tea at a Vietnamese restaurant.

And somewhere along the way, a Dino Egg Rebel from Dutch Bros that probably contained enough sugar to fuel a small village.

No regrets.

But also no confusion about why those things are tempting for me.

If there's a lesson here, it's that I don't struggle with food nearly as much as I struggle with fancy drinks.

Graduation Weekend

While we were away, we attended a graduation party.

And like most family celebrations, the food reflected the people.

There was Filipino food.

Romanian food.

A little bit of everything.

The kind of meal where you want to try all the things.

And honestly?

It was wonderful.

Because sometimes food isn't just food.

Sometimes it's culture.

Family.

Celebration.

Connection.

And that's worth enjoying.

Monday Means Monday

When Monday arrived, I didn't negotiate.

I had said I was restarting on Monday.

So Monday it was.

No excuses.

No waiting until Tuesday.

No "I'll start next week."

Monday.

Starting the Day

We got up around 6 a.m. and had a slow morning around the house.

One of the first things on the agenda was taking our classic car in to have the carburetor worked on.

So we dropped it off before 8 and got back home around 9.

Then I made breakfast.

Two eggs over medium.

Avocado toast.

Two apricots.

Simple.

Fresh.

Exactly what sounded good.

One More Day With the Girls

My daughter from Rhode Island was still in California.

She had come back for her twin sister's graduation and this was one of her last days before heading home again.

So we gave the girls a relaxed morning.

No rushing.

No big agenda.

Just time together.

Around 11, we loaded up the kayaks and headed to the lake.

Kayaks & Sunshine

For lunch, I packed simple roll-ups:

• turkey

• provolone

• pickle

Nothing fancy.

Easy to eat.

Easy to transport.

Then my partner and I kayaked for 45 minutes.

That became my first workout.

Afterward, we pulled out the floaties and spent the afternoon enjoying the water.

The weather was beautiful.

The lake was perfect.

And for a few hours, life felt very simple.

Grocery Store Dinner

By the time we got home, it was around 4:30.

The original dinner plan involved cooking.

Something with salmon.

Something healthy.

Something responsible.

None of us were interested.

The girls were hungry.

I was tired.

And nobody felt like cooking.

So the girls ran to the grocery store and picked up deli sandwiches.

For me, they grabbed a fruit tray.

Which honestly sounded better than cooking anyway.

Upper Body at 6:30

At 6:30 I taught my Zoom workout.

Upper body day.

And after spending most of the afternoon relaxing at the lake, it felt good to move again.

That checked off workout number two.

And once class was over, I was done.

Shower.

Reading.

Bed.

I think I was asleep by 8 p.m.

What I'm Noticing

One thing I've learned over the last month is that restarting doesn't erase progress.

I may have restarted the challenge for the third time.

But I didn't restart my fitness.

I didn't restart my habits.

I didn't restart my health.

Those things continued.

The challenge simply gave me a line in the sand and an opportunity to recommit.

And I think there's a big difference between failing and quitting.

I failed.

Then I restarted.

Quitting would have looked very different.

So here we are.

Attempt number three.

Day 1.

Again.

And I know some people will look at that and see failure.

Three starts.

Two misses.

Another restart.

I don't see it that way.

Because every attempt taught me something.

The first attempt taught me where my weak spots were.

The second attempt taught me that I need more structure around my water and reading.

And this third attempt?

It's reminding me of things I already know but sometimes forget.

The importance of systems.

The importance of keeping promises to yourself.

The importance of making success easier instead of harder.

That's the thing about restarting.

You don't go back to zero.

You go back with more information.

More awareness.

More experience.

More proof that you can do hard things.

Every attempt leaves something behind that makes the next attempt stronger.

So yes.

This is Day 1 again.

But it's also Day 44 since I first decided I wanted something different for myself.

And that matters too.

Because the scale doesn't know how many times you restarted.

Your habits don't know how many times you restarted.

Your body doesn't know how many times you restarted.

They only know what you've been doing consistently over time.

And over time, I've been showing up far more often than I've been missing.

That's the part I'm choosing to focus on.

I choose to call it a restart because that's what it is.

But I also choose to look at it as a reset.

Not a punishment.

Not proof that I can't do it.

A reset.

A chance to take what I've learned and apply it better.

A chance to adjust the systems.

A chance to make success easier.

We all have both masculine and feminine energy within us.

The masculine creates structure.

It keeps its word.

It creates the container.

The feminine adapts.

Flows.

Adjusts.

Responds to what is actually happening.

The healthiest version of either energy isn't found on its own.

It's found when they work together.

Restarting was my masculine energy saying,

"The commitment was missed. Start again."

Not from shame.

Not from punishment.

From integrity.

And adjusting my routine so that my reading, first workout, progress photo, and first 32 ounces of water happen before anything else?

That's my feminine energy supporting me.

Working with me instead of against me.

One creates the container.

The other helps me move through it.

And together they create something sustainable.

So yes.

This is attempt number three.

And I'm okay with that.

Because I'm not starting over.

I'm starting again with more experience.

More awareness.

More information.

And more evidence that I can keep showing up for myself.

That's the part I'm taking forward.

Restart Day 1 Complete

Kayaks.

Sunshine.

Upper body workout.

A day at the lake.

And a fresh start.